Parranda 94 - A Gringo's Second Christmas in Puerto Rico...

T'was the night before Christmas, and I'd been to the store -

"Parranda" was coming and I had to prepare.

I knew all my friends would be coming tonight,

And this year - I was doing it right.

I'd slept all day and ate rather hearty,

Getting ready for the all night party.

I showered, shaved and dressed kind of fancy

Anticipating the singing and dancing.

I bought cheese and jamón, chips and dips,

Bacardi with fruit punch and cokes to mix.

Dulces and postres would also be served,

And cañita and beer for those who preferred.

I went to the kitchen to prepare all the food

(This year the party was going to be good).

I cut and arranged everything different ways

and covered it all on serving trays.

I began working a little past 8,

But I knew that parrandas don't start until late.

By 9:30 I had everything done,

And sat down anticipating the "full night of fun".

At 10:45 I heard two car doors slam

And ran to the window, convinced it was them.

But it was only my neighbors returning home,

And I started to wonder what time they would come.

At 12:45 I prepared my first drink,

Then cleaned up the dishes I'd left in the sink.

I was sure that soon the parranda would come,

And I left the lights on so they'd know I was home.

At 1:30 I turned on my VCR

And sat down in the chair with the cañita jar.

I'd watch a movie to pass the time,

And drink some cañita and coke with lime.

By 3AM I was getting tired,

But I knew at that hour - Asopao was required.

I staggered to the kitchen to get everything ready,

(I was really quite drunk and my legs weren't too steady).

I got out the recipe and started to read

But it was in Spanish - unfortunately for me.

So I cooked it the way I'd been taught by a friend,

Hoping "gringo" soup would be alright with them.

I fell asleep in the chair around 5,

Passed out drunk waiting for them to arrive.

Later that morning I moved to the bed

After taking some aspirin for my aching head.

My clothes were a mess and my mouth tasted bad,

And I went back to sleep a little sad.

But on Christmas day - at least I ate good.

My refrigerator was full of uneaten food.

I guess each parranda is never the same.....

This year I was ready - and nobody came!

 G. Clark