The link to Tami's blog follows at the end.
Not your ordinary blog
This will go in a completely different direction and actually I hope to address a completely different crown than normal (not that, that particular crowd reads my blog or any blog for that matter), but maybe, just maybe, a parent will read this blog and read it to their child/teen.
I had the utmost honor of seeing my son (my only biological child) honored on the Nancy Grace show last night https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200552832008295&set=vb.1383426044&type=2&theater and it made me so proud and sad at the same time. I know that sounds crazy, but it's the only way to describe the feeling I had.
I was so fortunate. There was rarely a day that I didn't hear from Chad either via phone call, text, or a quick email. If there was a day that went by it was typically because he was working with the USMC or deployed. That was pretty much the ONLY time I would not hear something from him daily. I know there are parents out there that don't get that. Maybe it was because he was an only child and felt the need to take care of his momma or because we were just used to talking in some fashion every day. It might be a quick phone call from Iraq or Afghanistan (when he could make a call) or when he was state side it might be a quick phone call on his way home from work or on a break. I was the lucky mom that got that much communication from her son. I feel blessed by that every day.
So here is the twist to this blog. I find it actually odd/funny that our kids are actually more connected today then ever before. They have text, Face Book, Twitter, Instagram, etc. that they can reach out to parents or anyone, yet I hear from more and more parents out there that go days without hearing from their kids and these are not kids that are deployed or in the field training with the military.
We got so excited tonight when Tebo's son called him and chatted for a good 15 to 20 minutes. I know for teenage time that was forever. For us, it was like heaven. I say "for us", because I had the privilege of seeing Tebo's face when he saw his name pop up on his phone and watch his face as they chatted. Ok, there weren't just a ton of words exchanged, but here is the kicker, there don't have to be a ton of words.
My best phone call (which turned out to be my last one) from Chad was when he called me from Afghanistan and because I can't stand to have a surprise for him and not tell him, I told him about his birthday present that I intended to give him when we went to CA for his homecoming. It was an autographed picture of Peyton Manning. His last words to me (in a very excited tone) was "that's crazy, that's just crazy" "how did you do that" and then suddenly our call was dropped. Now, as mom, my first thought was, I didn't get to tell him I loved him. I bawled like a baby, because I didn't get to tell him I loved him before the call dropped. I had even told Tebo and my daddy that the next time he calls me I am telling him I love him first just in case the call gets dropped before I get the chance. Well, by now you know that not only did I not get another phone call from him, but the next time I knew anything about my baby boy was when Marines in full dress blue uniforms rang our doorbell to tell us he would not be coming home. I was NOT going to get to tell him I loved him again (other than the MOTO mail I sent him literally on the day he lost his life). My heart was broken.
Here is my message... If you are a child/teen/adult that still have the privilege of having your parents on this earth make the effort to call them. Call them when you have nothing to say at all, but I love you or just call to let them know what is going on with your life no matter how big or small. We care. It might not seem to you like we would, but it turns out we care about everything from how you slept the night before to how school was and how your job is going and how your relationships are.
We care more than you know and if your parents aren't calling or texting you enough, TELL THEM! We want to know if you want to hear from us more. There is a good chance parents aren't reaching out on a regular basis because they don't want to invade your privacy or push themselves into your life too much.
Well, Chad never had the chance to say that to me, because I pushed and I made myself ever so present in his day to day life. Were there things he did that I didn't know about? Of course there were, but it wasn't because I wasn't calling, returning text messages, or stalking him on Face Book. I was doing all of that. However, I was fortunate enough that I did hear from him if there was any physical way for him to reach out in any way. If you are doing that with your parents... GOOD FOR YOU! I know there are more kids out there that do like Chad did with me and I'm so proud you do that and I know your parents are proud.
I know for me my parents probably wish I would give them a break. Well, guess what? Not going to happen in this life time. :) I check with my parents every week and sometimes daily. If they are sick I wear their phones out. Bug them, drive them crazy, and above all else, don't just call because you need something. They want to hear from you even if it is silly things like, I had a good night's sleep and I have a crazy busy day today and how are you doing. That's really all they need. You don't have to talk long and if you are lucky enough to have techie savy parents (like our kids do) you can just text us and we will respond. If we text you, you should respond. As most parents, we are probably paying you cell phone bill. :) I would respond if I were you and you aren't.
I'm blessed to have 4 bonus kids thanks to my amazing husband and they are good kids. Could we hear from some of them more and could we make the effort to reach out to them more, yes, but they are good kids and we consider ourselves very lucky.
I know most kids say, I'm just so busy. Really, because we (as parents) know that you have your phone in your reach 24/7 and usually even when you are in bed. You probably don't miss much your friends have to tell you or that FB post or that Instagram, but somehow you didn't see your parent's text? Really?
I have a challenge for all kids (all ages) if your parents are still on this earth. I dare you to reach out to them on a regular basis even if it is just to say hey and I was thinking of you and wanted to make sure you were ok. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember, we are never guaranteed tomorrow. Don't take today or any day for granted. Love those that are still with you and make sure they know it.
To my bonus kids, Candi, Nathan, Tia, Trevor, and my bonus kids from Chad's friends from school and the USMC, and my nieces and nephews, and cousins, and sisters, and brothers, and all my parents, and aunts and uncles. I love you. I will do a better job of reaching out.
I had the utmost honor of seeing my son (my only biological child) honored on the Nancy Grace show last night https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200552832008295&set=vb.1383426044&type=2&theater and it made me so proud and sad at the same time. I know that sounds crazy, but it's the only way to describe the feeling I had.
I was so fortunate. There was rarely a day that I didn't hear from Chad either via phone call, text, or a quick email. If there was a day that went by it was typically because he was working with the USMC or deployed. That was pretty much the ONLY time I would not hear something from him daily. I know there are parents out there that don't get that. Maybe it was because he was an only child and felt the need to take care of his momma or because we were just used to talking in some fashion every day. It might be a quick phone call from Iraq or Afghanistan (when he could make a call) or when he was state side it might be a quick phone call on his way home from work or on a break. I was the lucky mom that got that much communication from her son. I feel blessed by that every day.
So here is the twist to this blog. I find it actually odd/funny that our kids are actually more connected today then ever before. They have text, Face Book, Twitter, Instagram, etc. that they can reach out to parents or anyone, yet I hear from more and more parents out there that go days without hearing from their kids and these are not kids that are deployed or in the field training with the military.
We got so excited tonight when Tebo's son called him and chatted for a good 15 to 20 minutes. I know for teenage time that was forever. For us, it was like heaven. I say "for us", because I had the privilege of seeing Tebo's face when he saw his name pop up on his phone and watch his face as they chatted. Ok, there weren't just a ton of words exchanged, but here is the kicker, there don't have to be a ton of words.
My best phone call (which turned out to be my last one) from Chad was when he called me from Afghanistan and because I can't stand to have a surprise for him and not tell him, I told him about his birthday present that I intended to give him when we went to CA for his homecoming. It was an autographed picture of Peyton Manning. His last words to me (in a very excited tone) was "that's crazy, that's just crazy" "how did you do that" and then suddenly our call was dropped. Now, as mom, my first thought was, I didn't get to tell him I loved him. I bawled like a baby, because I didn't get to tell him I loved him before the call dropped. I had even told Tebo and my daddy that the next time he calls me I am telling him I love him first just in case the call gets dropped before I get the chance. Well, by now you know that not only did I not get another phone call from him, but the next time I knew anything about my baby boy was when Marines in full dress blue uniforms rang our doorbell to tell us he would not be coming home. I was NOT going to get to tell him I loved him again (other than the MOTO mail I sent him literally on the day he lost his life). My heart was broken.
Here is my message... If you are a child/teen/adult that still have the privilege of having your parents on this earth make the effort to call them. Call them when you have nothing to say at all, but I love you or just call to let them know what is going on with your life no matter how big or small. We care. It might not seem to you like we would, but it turns out we care about everything from how you slept the night before to how school was and how your job is going and how your relationships are.
We care more than you know and if your parents aren't calling or texting you enough, TELL THEM! We want to know if you want to hear from us more. There is a good chance parents aren't reaching out on a regular basis because they don't want to invade your privacy or push themselves into your life too much.
Well, Chad never had the chance to say that to me, because I pushed and I made myself ever so present in his day to day life. Were there things he did that I didn't know about? Of course there were, but it wasn't because I wasn't calling, returning text messages, or stalking him on Face Book. I was doing all of that. However, I was fortunate enough that I did hear from him if there was any physical way for him to reach out in any way. If you are doing that with your parents... GOOD FOR YOU! I know there are more kids out there that do like Chad did with me and I'm so proud you do that and I know your parents are proud.
I know for me my parents probably wish I would give them a break. Well, guess what? Not going to happen in this life time. :) I check with my parents every week and sometimes daily. If they are sick I wear their phones out. Bug them, drive them crazy, and above all else, don't just call because you need something. They want to hear from you even if it is silly things like, I had a good night's sleep and I have a crazy busy day today and how are you doing. That's really all they need. You don't have to talk long and if you are lucky enough to have techie savy parents (like our kids do) you can just text us and we will respond. If we text you, you should respond. As most parents, we are probably paying you cell phone bill. :) I would respond if I were you and you aren't.
I'm blessed to have 4 bonus kids thanks to my amazing husband and they are good kids. Could we hear from some of them more and could we make the effort to reach out to them more, yes, but they are good kids and we consider ourselves very lucky.
I know most kids say, I'm just so busy. Really, because we (as parents) know that you have your phone in your reach 24/7 and usually even when you are in bed. You probably don't miss much your friends have to tell you or that FB post or that Instagram, but somehow you didn't see your parent's text? Really?
I have a challenge for all kids (all ages) if your parents are still on this earth. I dare you to reach out to them on a regular basis even if it is just to say hey and I was thinking of you and wanted to make sure you were ok. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember, we are never guaranteed tomorrow. Don't take today or any day for granted. Love those that are still with you and make sure they know it.
To my bonus kids, Candi, Nathan, Tia, Trevor, and my bonus kids from Chad's friends from school and the USMC, and my nieces and nephews, and cousins, and sisters, and brothers, and all my parents, and aunts and uncles. I love you. I will do a better job of reaching out.
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