Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Fathers' Day!

Fathers’ Day:   A celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.

There are a range of events which may have inspired the idea of Father's Day.  One of these was the start of the Mothers’ Day tradition in the first decade of the 20th century.  Another was a memorial service held in 1908 for a large group of men, many of them fathers, who were killed in a mining accident in Monongah, West Virginia, in December 1907.

A woman called Sonora Smart Dodd was an influential figure in the establishment of Father's Day.  Her father raised six children by himself after the death of their mother.  This was uncommon at that time as many widowers placed their children in the care of others or quickly married again.

Sonora was inspired by the work of Anna Jarvis, who had pushed for Mother's Day celebrations.  Sonora felt that her father deserved recognition for what he had done.  The first time Father's Day was held in June was in 1910.  Father's Day was officially recognized as a holiday in 1972 by President Nixon.

I have recently read articles by two different women who say they abhor Mothers’ Day and want the tradition discontinued because mothers aren’t any more special than any other women.  They say it discriminates against women who are childless.  And one of the authors was a mother herself.  I think that’s truly sad.

Why shouldn’t mothers be celebrated and honored with their own day?  They are, after all, responsible for populating the planet.  And if Mothers’ Day or Fathers’ Day is discriminatory, what about other holidays?  Should we discontinue Veterans’ Day because not everyone is a veteran?  Should we discontinue Memorial Day because not everyone has died in service to our country?  See what I mean?

For me Fathers’ Day is a joy and a curse.  My own father passed away last year and my son has been gone for 11 years now.  So I don’t have anyone for which to celebrate it.  However, my father was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known and I was blessed to have him as my dad.  I celebrate that even though he’s gone.  And though I had my son for only 17 years, I wouldn’t trade those 17 years for anything.  Without him I wouldn’t be a father.  Nor would I have had the chance to be a dad.  And being a dad, his dad, was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Fathers’ Day this year will be a celebration of another kind as well.  I find it a wonderful coincidence that my book about Christopher is finally available to the public in June, the month of Fathers’ Day and the month of his birthday.  I finished the book on June 19, 2010, which was Christopher’s 26th birthday.  Now, three years later, the book will finally be read by people who knew him, as well as people who didn’t.  Hopefully those who knew him will find some pleasant memories in it and those who never met him will get to know who he was.  Christopher was a great kid and I miss him every day.

For those fathers who have lost a child, try to have a happy day anyway.  You are not alone and your loss is felt by all of us in the club.  I know that doesn’t help much but it’s the best I can do.  There’s nothing fair or right about it.  I went to a funeral last week of the adult daughter of my wife’s best friend, who died as a result of a tragic accident.  The officiating pastor opened his remarks with “It’s no supposed to be this way.”  Truer words were never spoken and yet for many it is that way.  And we have no choice but to deal with it.


OK, before I get all melancholy let me just say “Happy Fathers’ Day” to all fathers everywhere.  Do me a favor today?  Hug your kid(s) and tell them you love them.  Then hug them again.  If you can’t physically hug them, at least call them and tell them you love them.  And if that’s not possible either – ask God to do it for you.  I believe He grants requests like that.  And take it from me – you never know when the opportunity to hug your child could be taken away.


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