Today, February 10, 2013, marks the 11th
anniversary of the accident that took my son from this world. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him
and miss him still. If he were alive
today he would be 28 years old. Who would he be? Would he have a wife and family? Would he have fulfilled his dream of being a
pilot? Would he have joined the Air
Force as he wanted and gone off to war?
These questions will never be answered for me.
I was reading something the other day about a teacher who
lost her husband suddenly. She realized
that little things in life mattered most and shared her insight with her
students.
“Class is over. I
would like to share, with all of you, a thought that is unrelated to class but
which I feel is very important. Each of
us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of
ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is heaven's way of telling us
that we should make the most out of every single day.
So I would like you
all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way
home, find something beautiful to notice.
It doesn't have to be
something you see, it could be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting
out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly
rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one
autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground. Please look for these things, and
cherish them.
For, although it may
sound trite to some, these things are the "stuff" of life - the
little things we are put here on earth to enjoy... The things we often take for
granted.”
This story was relayed by someone who had recently lost her
husband. I wish I could remember who it
was but I accidentally deleted the e-mail prematurely.
Today, in honor of Christopher, I offer the same advice but
will add something of my own.
None of us know when we, or someone we love, will be taken
from this life. It’s difficult enough to
lose someone we love when it’s expected, such as an elderly parent or
grandparent or someone who suffers from a terminal illness. It always hurts to have to say good-bye. It’s even more difficult and painful to lose
someone suddenly in an unexpected way.
Losing someone you love to an accident or a heart attack or, heaven
forbid, to their own hand, can feel as if a piece of your heart has been torn
out. When that person is suddenly gone
forever you can never again tell them in person what they mean to you. Certainly you can still talk to them – I talk
to Christopher all the time and I believe he hears me. But you can’t look them in the eye and know
they understand what you’re telling them.
In like manner, it’s difficult for the ones we leave behind
if we happen to be the one who moves on.
If you die tonight – do the people you love know how you feel?
So on this special day I offer this advice. Never pass up an opportunity to tell those
you love just how you feel. You never
know when something could happen that will take that opportunity away from you
forever. The night Christopher died he
and his mother had an argument and he left the house angry. Neither of them said “I love you” before he
left. Certainly things like that are
going to happen in life – none of us is perfect. But Christopher’s mom lived the rest of her
life remembering she didn’t tell her baby boy she loved him before he went
out. And it was the last chance she had.
The good thing is that Pat very rarely missed that opportunity. Christopher certainly knew he was loved and
appreciated. She told him on a regular
basis and I told him I loved him every time I spoke with him. And he told us as well. So there’s my other piece of advice. Teach your children to do what I’m telling
you. Teach them to express their love
for others openly and for the same reason.
Even though as teenagers they believe they know everything – none of us
ever knows what can happen. They will be
better people for it.
May our good Lord bless you all.
Christopher – I’m thinking of you today a little more than
usual. I love you and I miss you every
day. Say hi to your mom for me.
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