That title came to me Sunday morning and stuck in my head without me having any idea where it might go. Now, as I write this, I still have no idea where it’s headed. But it has begun.
The events of the last week have been somewhat disheartening. Many of you by now know that my wife and I are splitting up. I could go down a list of problems and play the blame game but it would be one sided and serve no purpose. And it wouldn’t change anything. The bottom line is that we got married before we truly knew who each other is and that definitely took its toll on the relationship. And both of us are to blame for that because we rushed it along.
A friend of mine said to me the other day (paraphrased): “I don’t understand why God allows so many bad things to happen to some people and other people seem to live charmed lives.” She was obviously referring to the things that have happened in my life in the last ten years. My answer to that would be “God doesn’t normally interfere in people’s lives. He certainly could if He wanted but I believe He allows us all to make our own choices and suffer the consequences. And sometimes bad things and accidents just happen. “
When my son died in 2002 it was because he made the really poor choice to ride in a car without wearing a seat belt. Had he been wearing it he would most likely still be alive. When his mother developed cancer years ago it was something that just happened; something that happens to many people. She fought it hard and finally gave up when it came back the last time, just last year. But she never quit smoking no matter how sick she got. And I’m sure that didn’t help her condition.
As I said - sometimes bad things just happen. And accidents happen. Could God have prevented either or both of those things from happening? Of course He could have. But He leaves us to our own choices and our own wills and we often don’t do very well with that freedom. As for Barrie and I – we were caught up in each other and our decision to push things along was made by us and us alone. There’s no one else to blame, certainly not God.
I’m not sure why it is that love doesn’t work out. I’m not sure how you can love someone and then stop loving them. And I’m not sure how something that can be so wonderful can turn around and be so painful. But it happens all the time. Yet most people continue to take the chance of love on a regular basis, even if they’ve been hurt before. I can’t say I won’t ever take the chance again. But I know it won’t be anytime soon. And that’s perfectly OK with me.
I thank each of you who have offered your sympathies and best wishes and I appreciate people respecting my wishes and not asking a lot of questions. These things are difficult enough without having to explain things over and over. I’m going to be OK. Barrie is going to be OK. And life will go on. Of that I am certain.