January 20, 2013
President Barack Obama, by a very narrow margin, has won re-election as President of the United States. The race was close with many American voters angry because the Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Care Act as being Constitutional, basically giving the government the authority to tax the American people for anything at any time.
During his inaugural address, President Obama gives the first indication of how things will be during his second term.
“My subservient Americans, once again I have taken the oath of office as your President and supreme leader. The battle was hard fought and the victory was close but you’ve again helped me triumph over the evil that is the Republican Party. Thank you all for voting for me so we can move the country forward.”
“My first order of business will be to help the economy, increase revenue for the government and get back the money that was given out in the bailouts, specifically from General Motors and Chrysler. So my first executive order is as follows: All Americans will be required to purchase a Chevy Volt or a Chevy or Chrysler hybrid vehicle by the end of my second term in office. Purchase of these vehicles will be good for the environment, good for the auto companies that were bailed out and, ultimately, good for the country. It’s the right thing to do.”
“Since these vehicles are somewhat expensive, all GM and Chrysler dealers will accept any vehicle in trade and give a reasonable amount of money for each toward the purchase of the mandated vehicles. All current auto loans will be wiped clean so that each of you can more readily afford to buy the mandated vehicles. Used hybrids and Volts will be available for those of you in the lower income bracket and you will still receive full trade-in value for your old car. And let me clarify – only GM and Chrysler vehicles are authorized for purchase. Since Ford didn’t take bailout money, their vehicles do not qualify for this program.”
“Anyone who does not buy one of the vehicles specified will be taxed accordingly. Let me be clear – by a 5 to 4 vote the Supreme Court has declared that I can mandate citizens to buy anything and tax any of you for non-compliance. Before any of you right-wing radicals decides to file a lawsuit against this act take a look at the Supreme Court decision and don’t waste our time. Attorney General Holder has far bigger things to worry about than a frivolous lawsuit that has already been decided.”
“So there it is – my first order of business. As I said – it’s good for the country, it’s the right thing to do and I’m not looking for an argument. It’s time everyone got on board the American train that’s moving our country forward. Thank you.”