Should There Be A "Mothers' Day"?

OK - many of you are now wondering, just from the title, if I'm crazy.  (Some of you wonder that anyway and have probably already made up your minds....)  But here's the reason for the title:

I read an article last night called “Why I Hate Mothers’ Day”.  The title alone drew my interest.  It was written by a woman, who is a mother herself, and I can only guess that she is unhappy and liberal.  I’m not judging her for her opinion but here’s why I think she is wrong in her ideas.

She says that Mothers’ Day is about making women who are mothers seem better and more special than those who are not mothers.  She says it makes (or tries to make) women who are not mothers to be somehow inferior to all the moms in the world.  As Colonel Sherman Potter used to say on “M*A*S*H”…  “Horse hockey!”  (One of my favorite shows ever, by the way.)

Mothers’ Day is about celebrating the women of the world who give us life and allowing our children to do the same thing.  After all, everyone on Earth had a mother at one time.  They wouldn't be here otherwise.

And sure – mothers are special – at least most of them.  Some women should never be allowed to have children for various reasons, just as some men should never be allowed to be fathers.  Let’s face it – there are people who simply do not have the moral aptitude, the discipline, or the ability to love and give of themselves to have children and raise them successfully.  I’m not talking about them.

The author went on to say she had taught her son not to acknowledge Mothers’ Day – not because she doesn’t want his love and appreciation but because celebrating Mothers’ Day just isn’t fair to those women who are not mothers.   She says she will probably live to regret that decision because as she gets older if her son doesn’t acknowledge her on Mothers’ Day it will hurt her.  But gee – you can’t have it both ways.

The woman said she also hates Valentine’s Day because it is unfair to people who don’t have anyone special to love.  (Are you getting the liberalism thing yet?)  So based on the things she wrote, here is how I see her.  She’s a single mother, bitter about past relationships (particularly with the father of her child), who didn’t have a warm, loving family relationship.  She somehow believes that hating Mothers’ Day, a day that should make her happy to have her son, is going to somehow make that a little better.  And she’s very liberal in her views on politics and life in general.

Sound about right?  Of course – I could be wrong in my assessment.  But I don’t think so. 

As a parent whose child died, I suppose I have every right to hate Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day because people will be celebrating something that I no longer have.  I could grab on to my pain and grief and be angry and bitter because Christopher is no longer here.  I have never once felt that way.  The very first Fathers’ Day following Christopher’s death I was at a group function with some friends and acquaintances.  One of the guys hadn’t seen his estranged son for several years and was talking about how badly he felt.  Many of these people didn’t know about Christopher and when I became visibly saddened by his story I was encouraged to tell my own. 

As I was telling the group about Christopher, the door opened and Tom’s son walked in.  Of course, he was overjoyed to see him and immediately got up and went to hug him.  After a while he came back over to me and said “I didn’t know about Christopher and I feel badly that my son is here and yours isn’t.”  I shook his hand and gave him a hug and said “Tom – I’m so happy for you that you got your boy back.  Don’t ever feel badly about that.  Celebrate with him and enjoy him while you can.”  My heart was heavy that day because of my loss.  But seeing the joy in Tom’s eyes when his son walked into the room brightened my spirits immensely.  I was genuinely happy for him.

Mothers’ Day (and Fathers’ Day) is about celebrating those who gave us life and celebrating the lives we brought into the world.  I loved my mother – and still do even though she’s been gone for 20 years.  I’m proud to be a father, even if my son is no longer here.  The title alone is something no one can ever take away from me.  And I pity that poor woman who thinks it’s all about being unfair and demeaning to childless women.  That’s not it at all. 

Happy Mothers’ Day to all the moms out there - even to the one who wrote the article.  It’s not a day to demean and devalue childless women but a day to celebrate your own mother.  It's a day to revel in the joy of your own children and, as they grow older, for them to celebrate you.  There’s nothing demeaning to anyone in that.  It’s about love.

Maybe the author of the article should try to start “National Womens’ Day” or “You Don’t Have To Be A Mom To Be Special Day” or something like that.  Or maybe she should get over her guilt about being a mother when other women aren’t and learn to celebrate that wonderful part of her life.  There’s  nothing wrong with celebrating being a mom.  Without them we would all cease to exist.